When did we get addicted to our phones. To consuming information. To consuming other peoples lives. When did we start paying attention to how other people live more than how we live.

We have a variety and quantity of who’s life we want to jump into. It’s pretty powerful and attractive to hangout and see the world from someone else’s view. Someone like the “Rock” working out and making movies, listening to Gary Vaynerchuk business advise, witnessing our friends social media growth as influencer, or watching random channels to feed our eyes with beauty and soul with laughter.

But, how do we build strong relationships in a digital age?

The baby boomers didn’t have this unique problem. They lived through a time of TV with limited channels. Limited perspectives resulting in slow and in-person relationship building. Yes, baby boomers have had there struggles with civil rights, factory worker education, and youth violence in the mid 90’s but one big difference is that this generation built relationships on seeing, hearing, feeling, and doing things in the real world.

Although baby boomers were not relationship experts (sorry padres) they had they learned how to build relationships of depth and intimacy. The absence of a super computer at their fingertips allowed them to focus on their relationship and limited options worked in their favor. So, how do we build strong relationships in a digital age?

Here are four ways we can refocus our attention:

1. Self-discipline over self-love

Limit your time on social media. If you want to be relevant, spend more time creating content not consuming content. There’s nothing wrong with consuming content but be self-discipline in the amount.

2. Trade motivation and inspirational videos for community get-togethers

Facebook groups and other online groups need love and theres plenty of opportunity to be in service and receive help. Instead of wasting time on motivation and inspirational videos focus out and help your peers. Motivation is temporary, being in service can build a loyal tribe.

3. Deep focus

Stop scrolling. Its just a habit and you know it. Use the tomatotimer.com or any timer to focus on one task at a time. Atleast the majority of your time should be super focused on one thing. If you want to waste time go on Tinder. Ouch. jk. The topic of online dating deserves a focused article.

4. Be your own lifestyle hero

We need to take control of our finite attention and give energy to our relationships. That means be more intentional with what we do. By focusing on our own lifestyle we focus on the people in our inner circle in the physical and virtual world.

We’re all craving for that deep connection with those we serve or those who serve us. Stay focus on the depth of your relationships ladies and gents.

If this message resonates with you give it a clap and share with someone who might be unfocused.

How do you focus and deepen your personal and professional relationships?